Testing My Mantra

I promise I had a post ready for Sunday. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to wait! This past weekend I traveled to NYC for a much needed mini vacation! I thoroughly enjoyed my pizza, a great night out in the city, brunch in Brooklyn, Harry Potter New York, and a NAP. My trip got off to a rocky start and a delay. My trip ended with a delay as well. While my plans were delayed, I remained as calm as a I could. I reminded myself that I could not control the situation. I was thankful that my plane was not permitted to land in bad weather. I've landed in bad weather before, and it was hard on my nerves. I was grateful that a mechanical issue was caught, even though it delayed my flight home. I was annoyed that a short staffing issue kept me on the runway an extra hour once home, but maybe that was for good reason too.

Sometimes we are delayed for our own good. Maybe a delay is to protect you. It's easy for me to say Be Positive when things are going well. What happens when that is not the case? My mantra was definitely put to the test while traveling.

Once I returned, I was back on mommy duty. I had to take my daughter out of town because she is a busy young lady. I intended to leave a day early, but could not due to outside factors. I got up at 4:30 am on 4 hours of sleep and a Red Bull to get us there. That evening she finished up 2 hours later than planned. I went back and forth with myself about getting on the road and being tired. I felt a second wind come over me and felt energized enough to get on the road after getting Chick-Fil-A with the kid and a friend. When we got in the car the kid thanked me for stopping at her favorite place, for giving up my day off and resting in order to take her to do something she wanted to do. That melted me! I am glad she knows that I'll put everything aside to help her get where she wants be.

We visited with a friend at her house and as time passed, I was ready to hit the road. My friend and her husband suggested that we stay the night because they were concerned about us getting on the road so late. My dad being the man he is called because he hadn't heard from me to let him know I was on the way back, or made it home. He suggested I listen to my friend and leave in the morning. My circle that I communicate with throughout the day echoed the same sentiments.

Now rationally I know it made sense to wait to leave in the morning. However, I have to battle the voice in my head that tells me that I am failing because I couldn't complete the intended task. As a single woman and mother, I try to do it all. Normally this happens at the cost of my health, and sometimes my peace. I would never put my daughter's health at risk, and I had a family friend to crash with at the halfway point if it got to be too much. However, sometimes you need your circle to Be Positive and reassure you as well. My dad reiterated that it would be okay of I left in the morning. My friend told me that I needed rest. I kept thinking on my drive back about how my daughter was thankful for me being a mom who would sacrifice rest and time for her. Honestly, I don't want to be that tired mom. I don't like that sometimes I still have to prove to myself that I can do it all because I don't want to feel like I am failing as a woman, or as a mother. Sometimes I try to overcompensate for my choices and circumstances because when I close my eyes at night, sometimes I dwell on them. I want my daughter to have a mother that works hard, but is rested. I honestly hope that she never feels that way I do when I get caught in my thoughts. So I thank my people for reminding me that rest is not failure, and that sometimes everything else can wait!

To sum it up, I am still working to fight my own internal struggles! I remind myself and you, that Being Positive can extend itself to those around you. Your circle can Be Positive and remind you that you're doing okay, even if that's not how you feel or you're too tired to do something for YOU.

Take it a one day at a time, and practice BEing POSITIVE.