Birth to Be Positive

Be Positive is very close to my heart because the idea came in a time that I felt helpless. I started experiencing panic attacks regularly in 2017, and I hid them pretty well. I finally decided to share with a few people when I felt like everything was spiraling out of control. I prayed and prayed for God to stop feeling the feelings that I felt, but I came to the conclusion that I needed to take additional action. I talked with my doctor about options to manage the attacks, including medication, and moved forward.

Fast forward to 2020, I went through a lot of change. I had changes in my personal life, I was finally approaching my last year of undergrad, and Covid-19 turned everything upside down. I found myself losing control again. This time I tried therapy. I always felt that I never needed therapy, or people with "real problems" needed therapy. I discovered that my problems were very real. I learned to not minimize my struggles, and not to let anyone else minimize my struggles either. In my own journey of self-discovery, I also learned to extend grace to others who may be dealing with their own issues that others cannot see. You never know what the next person is going through.

It always felt taboo to discuss my own issues with mental health, dealing with depression, and panic attacks; especially when the response was always to talk to God. There is no problem too big for him, but there are problems that are to big for me. There is nothing wrong with taking your issues to God, and seeking professional help as well. When I discovered that, I started to feel more comfortable having these discussions with others over time. I kept the conversation going because I had a few people tell me how me being so candid helped them to open up as well. I feel that this is both my testimony and my ministry to help others in a way that suits me.

Writing has always been a source of release to me and I will be sharing some of my poetry here in the future.

I carry these words like an unborn baby

As they grown inside me, I become more attached

Nurturing them with all my instincts have to offer

As time passes I can't hold them anymore

waiting for the day I can drop this LOAD

This is an excerpt from a poem (Birth to Poetry) that I wrote in 2008. I felt it was appropriate because Be Positive has been a way for me to unload what I've been carrying. Now that I feel that I am in a progressive place, I want to pay it forward. It is my hope that this can be a place of encouragement. Even if it helps one person. I will also be featuring some initiatives that will be a help within my community soon.

Until next time, continue to Be Positive.